computerbrain.jpgI just woke up, I think.  It is a lazy Sunday afternoon with plenty to do, I guess, but nothing pressing.  I believe I am now awake because I see more clearly, feel the carpet under my bare feet, hear my children playing downstairs, and sense the urge to yawn.  My body seems to be more responsive than it was 10 minutes ago.  But am I awake?  Am I realy alive? 

Could it be that I am simply a product of billions and trillions of molecules colliding together from some prehistoric explosion.  Maybe this explosion is going to happen again in a few minutes or maybe it just happened and my memory is playing tricks on me.  Maybe I’m not here but just think I am here because of some stimulus reacting with what is here (not me).  Could it be that what is here is all there is and my senses are telling me of the only things that exist.  In any case, I am sure I would not be able to think this way very long or else I would drive myself crazy.  My reaction to these thoughts is this: if I followed them to their natural end, could I go on living?  I cannot cause myself to strive for greatness or discover intelligence or to love my family, care about others, or experience sorrow over my mistakes, if what my senses tell me is all there is.  Pragmatically, materialism doesn’t work for me.  I don’t think it really works for anyone.  Maybe you are able to accomplish much believing only in what you can sense, but not me.  I don’t want to do anything really when I think this way except lie in bed.  But I have a hard time sleeping without coming to some resolution.  I don’t see how anyone would sleep at night without a hope of something beyong this dimension of experience. 

It is my hope and prayer that there is really another Life out there.  I know that when I have believed in this Life I have experienced the most fulfilling life in the here and now.  I know that when I studied the reasons and even arguments for believing in this Life I have been convinced of its existence.  When, in my feeble efforts, I have lived based on this Life, I have experienced abundant life in this dimension.  I will proceed to follow after this Life and am willing, I think to die trying to live in it.  Without this hope I don’t see how I can be any sort of fun at all, especially after waking up from a Sunday afternoon nap.

Saint John 17:3 “And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”

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